Truth and Love
The Bible routinely offers us paradoxes. That is, it gives us two things that seemingly don’t fit together and tells us that in the kingdom of God, these two things fit precisely. In fact, not only do they fit precisely, but they also help us to know and experience God in a personal and real way. We are told to hold sorrow and hope together (1 Thes. 4:13). God has both compassion and justice (Isa. 30:18). And when we speak truth in love, we are just like Christ (Eph. 4:15).
The tough thing in all of this is that our minds struggle to understand how two seemingly opposite things not only go together, but when they are lived out, it is a demonstration of the character that God is forming in us. We are indeed his children, formed into the image of his Son. Truth and love might just be one of the most difficult paradoxes for us in our current cultural moment. Why? Because we tend to be a culture of pendulum swings. We have a negative experience in one way, and we swing to the very opposite side. Then that side lets us down, and we swing back, missing the very thing we’re looking for in the process. This is why when the Bible invites us into these paradoxes, it helps us to resist the pendulums and not miss out on what is beautiful, noble, eternal, true, and lovely.
So, how do we understand this paradox of truth and love? Pastor John Piper offers some helpful thoughts on this question. He writes,
- Truth aims at love.
“The goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5). Note: instruction is not the goal, love is. Instruction is the means. It is subordinate. Truth serves love. Education serves relationships – mainly the relationship between us and God, but also between Christian and Christian, and between us and unbelievers. The “goal” of all our education is love.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider one another how to stir up to love and good deeds, . . . encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:23-25, literal translation). The aim of our “considering one another” and “encouraging one another” is that we stir up love. We mingle insight into “the confession of our hope” with insight into “each other,” and the effect is stirring each other to love. The truth of doctrine and truth of people-watching unite to aim at love.
- Love aims at truth.
“Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). Love is glad when truth is spoken. Therefore love aims at truth. It supports truth.
“Out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4). Here is an example of how love aims at truth. Paul is filled with love and it compels him to write a letter that was hard, and caused sorrow in him and in the Corinthians. But it needed to be said. So love said it. Love speaks the truth personally and doctrinally.
- Love shapes how to speak the truth.
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15). There is an unloving way to speak the truth. That kind of truth-speaking we should repudiate. But there is a way to speak the truth in love, and that we should seek. It is not always a soft way to speak, or Jesus would have to be accused of lack of love in dealing with some folks in the Gospels. But it does ask about what is the most helpful thing to say when everything is considered. Sometimes what would have been a hard word to one group is a needed act of love to another group, and not a wrong to the group addressed. But in general, love shapes truth into words and ways that are patient and gentle (2 Timothy 2:24-25).
- Truth shapes how to show love.
“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:2). It is not always obvious which acts are loving. So John tells us some truth will help us know if our acts are loving. One truth test for our love is whether we are keeping the commandments of God toward people, In other words, love cannot be cut loose from the truth of God’s will. Truth shapes how to show love. [1]