Proverbs #11 – Study Questions
Gentle Words
Proverbs 15:1 & 18:21 (CGS#11)
INTRODUCTION: One of the things that we have seen in our study of the book of Proverbs is that some truths are as plain as day. That is, we didn’t need the Bible to tell us that those truths are true; our lives have already demonstrated them to us plainly. This week is another one of those moments when we examine what Proverbs had to say about our words. The simple and plain truth is our words matter. Personally, I love the Bible, which discloses what our lives make plain and visible. Why? Because it demonstrates the Bible’s reliability and believability. It isn’t some religious text that is so out of connection with the human experience that no one could possibly understand it. In that, we are reminded that God really loves us and wants us to know his truth that leads us to life. And his love is so great that he made it plain for us to read and understand in the Scriptures. Yes, there are parts of the Bible that are hard to understand, Revelation is one of those books. But so much of the Bible speaks to our everyday experience, and I am thankful for that.
So, back to our words and why they matter.
I’m confident that, like me, you heard from early on this nugget of wisdom, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Proverbs 18:21 says it this way, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The words we use and speak over one another, and ourselves are powerful. They can build someone up or tear them down. I’ve heard it said that in the highly charged environment of D.C., “ruing a person is a sport.” How are our public leaders often ruined? Words. But it doesn’t have to be in the halls of political power where destructive words become sport. Small lies that are intended to tear someone down just a little bit so that you can be lifted up are like acid that corrodes a person’s character. Gossip often makes us feel powerful and important. Why? Because secret knowledge makes us feel important. Gossip however, is not rooted in life-giving words. It is negative and controversial. It shares someone else’s news or story without their permission and often without their ability to speak factually. On the other end, we all know and have experienced the power of life-giving words. Encouragement, affirmation, and thoughtful and well-timed correction all fit into this category. Proverbs doesn’t separate truthfulness and kindness. That is an important note for us to pay attention to. In our modern moment, we can often think that kindness and truthfulness are opposites. Proverbs tells us that truth and justice are to be at the heart of the wise and that the way we say something is as important as what we say (8:6-8; 15:1). Thinking back to a couple of weeks ago, we identified four qualities of a true spiritual friend, they are: constancy, carefulness, candor, and counsel. People who understand the power of their words embody these four characteristics, but especially carefulness and candor. A true friend is someone who will not lie to you but instead tells you the truth in a way that you can understand. A true friend is someone who sees a bad decision on the horizon and speaks up. In fact, to not tell the truth or to not speak up in a time of need is profoundly unkind. Too often, we attribute kindness to not hurting someone’s feelings. There is a degree of truth to that. We shouldn’t just say whatever, whenever, and however. Remember, just as much as a true friend employs candor, they also employ carefulness. That is why Proverbs teaches us that kindness and clarity are equal partners. Our words matter, so let us be a people who speak life-giving words.
GETTING STARTED – As a group, take time to answer this question. Who is a person in your life that is really intentional with their words? What is it about them that specifically stands out?
IN THE WORD – Let’s dig back into the passage(s). It is important to strengthen our muscles in reading God’s Word. On Sunday, we walked through the passage in the sermon. Hopefully, that helped you to see the landmarks of the passage with fresh eyes. Now, with your group, go back through it and see what God is saying to you specifically.
First, before you read the passage, take a moment to ask God’s Spirit to quiet your mind and heart and to illuminate the text to you. Second, read the passage aloud to the group. Then, follow the simple method below. (O.P.A)
Observe: Make 8-10 observations from the passage. Pay close attention to observe and note repeated words and phrases, names, places, and themes.
Principles: From your list of observations, what patterns or big ideas do you see emerging? Can you distill it down into 2-4 big idea truths?
Apply: Moving from your list of principles, it is time to apply God’s Word. Remember, we believe that God’s Word is living and active and that it can change the way we live Monday- Friday. What is one tangible way to apply a truth from your list above?
Note: Another way to approach your time together is to talk through the following questions.
- What did you hear God’s Spirit say to you through the passage this week? How does it encourage you? How does it sharpen you?
- Is there an image, word, or picture that stands out to you in the passage from this week, and what about it is powerful or helpful?
- What is the difference between words of life and death? Consider both tone and implication of our words.
- Looking back at the four markers of a true spiritual friend (constancy, carefulness, candor, and counsel), which is a strength for you? Which is an area of growth?
- When you look at the person of Jesus, how do you see him offer words of life that are both kind and clear (grace and truth)? How does his example encourage and sharpen you? Consider these passages: Jn 3:1-20; Jn. 6:22-40; Lk. 5:27-32