What does the Bible say about marriage and divorce?
“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
– 1 Corinthians 7:6-7
In chapter seven of 1 Corinthians, Paul begins addressing specific questions that the Corinthian church had sent to him in an earlier letter, and as chapter seven shows us, they had questions about marriage and divorce. Paul’s advice to them in this includes both commands from God and his own advice that they should consider but not treat as a command. What Paul essentially does in this section is outline for them the things that are required of them as Christians in relationship to marriage, divorce, and human sexuality, and then the areas in which they have freedom to make their own choices. Here is a very simple explanation of what Paul says.
Q: Are you currently unmarried?
A: If yes, then you are free in Christ to get married or to remain single.
Q: Are you currently married?
A: If yes, then you are only free to have sexual intimacy with your spouse. And you are to extend care and honor to your spouse in the sexual relationship. You are also to remain married unless there is a biblically permitted reason for divorce. Paul (and Jesus) does not require believers to stay in abusive or toxic marriages. Paul (and Jesus) also do not permit believers to just divorce or legally separate from their spouse for just “any” reason.
Q: What is sexual sin?
A: Any sexual activity outside of the marriage context is sexual sin, and you are to flee sexual immorality.
There is actually a great amount of freedom that Paul outlines in this and the upcoming sections for the Corinthians and for us. But this section can leave us asking questions about marriage and divorce from a biblical perspective. How should we think about these things? What are the biblically permitted reasons for divorce?
So, let’s talk about these things in a little more detail.
What does the Bible teach about marriage?
Greg Strand, the EFCA’s director of theology and pastoral credentialing, offers us a comprehensive explanation on the topic of marriage.
“ Scripture grants two life-enhancing options for sexual behavior: monogamous marital relations between one man and one woman (Gen. 1:27-28; 2:18, 21-24; Matt. 19:4-6; Mk. 10:5-8; cf. Heb. 13:4) or sexual celibacy (1 Cor. 7:7; Matt. 19:12). Either is a gift from God, given as He wills for His glory and the good of those who receive and rejoice in His gift to them.
In Scripture, monogamous heterosexual marriage bears a significance which goes beyond the regulation of sexual behavior, the bearing and raising of children, the formation of families, and the recognition of certain economic and legal rights, all of which are important. Marriage between a woman and a man is emphatically declared in Scripture to create a “one flesh” union (Gen. 2:23-24; Matt. 19:5), which in turn signifies the mystery of the union between Christ and His body, the Church (Eph. 5:22- 33). This means that the foundational understanding of marriage is as a covenant grounded in promises between a man and a woman, which finds its divinely intended expression in the “one flesh” union of husband and wife, and between the “one flesh” union of husband and wife and God (cf. Prov. 2:16-17; Mal. 2:14; Eph. 5:31-32).
We regard marriage as a good creation of God, and marriage within the Church as a rite and institution tied directly to our foundational belief of God as creator who made us male and female. We also regard marriage as a sacred institution which images the mysterious and wonderful bond between Christ and His Church. To us, then, marriage is much more than merely a contract between two persons (a secular notion). It is a covenant grounded in promises between a man and a woman which finds its divinely intended expression in the “one flesh” union of husband and wife, and between the “one flesh” union of husband and wife and God (the divine design).
We define marriage in the following way: “Marriage is the original and foundational institution of human society, established by God as a one-flesh, covenantal union between a man and a woman that is life-long (until separated by death), exclusive (monogamous and faithful), and generative in nature (designed for bearing and rearing children), and it is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church.”’[1]
What does the Bible teach about divorce?
We find that in Matthew 5:31-32[2] and Mark 10:1-12[3] (you can find sermons that I gave on these passages linked in the notes below), Jesus offers some exclusions for biblically permitted divorce. In this passage, the key term is porneia. A broad term including lots of wicked stuff. [4] Examples of porneia would be abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), sexual infidelity, neglect, and abandonment. This understanding of the term porneia is one that the church has held over many generations. Scripture gives a clear message about marriage. Marriage is a covenant that is made between two people (male and female) before God (Gen. 2:24-25; Eph. 5). And, divorce for any reasons outside of the exceptions of porneia is a very serious and prohibited thing. One theologian puts it this way, “The Bible elevates marriage to the highest possible human level by comparing it to the covenants God makes with human beings.”[5] So, if the divorce falls under the clear teaching of Scripture, that is, within the exceptions that Jesus puts forth, the person is eligible for remarriage. We know that reconciliation with the spouse is always the best and most Biblical response.[6] But there are times when reconciliation is not possible and not safe. So we should not force a person to remain in or pursue a marriage that literally threatens their safety.
How do we help a fellow believer process a divorce? With this guidance from Scripture, we are wise to first sit, listen, and understand the situations that led to or might lead to a divorce. If the divorce in question falls within the exclusions permitted in Scripture, and there is no possibility (for a number of potential reasons) for a restoration process, then we should not put any barriers where Scripture puts none. Divorce is not something that anyone considers lightly, and so we need to respond to each other with care and a listening ear. We also need to take seriously the Bible’s teaching on the topic because the church is the Bride of Christ, gives witness to the person and work of Jesus, and is to glorify God in all it does (Eph. 5:27; Rev. 19:7). Please know, if you are in a difficult or an abusive marriage, please seek out mature brothers and sisters in Christ that can help you process and recieve the love, grace, and truth that the Scriptures have on this topic. You don’t have to, nor should you, sort through these things alone.
So, these larger truths are the backdrop for what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians chapter seven. At the heart of Paul’s instructions is the invitation to follow Jesus in a courageous and life-defining way with our sexuality and in our marriages or singleness. Glorifying God is the goal of the Christian life, so let us glorify God with our bodies (1 Cor. 6:20).
[1] Greg Strand via https://blogs.efca.org/strands-of-thought/posts/marriage
[2] A sermon that I gave on this passage: https://ccames.churchcenter.com/episodes/473022?media_intent=video
[3] A sermon that I gave on this passage: https://ccames.churchcenter.com/episodes/328953?media_intent=video
[4] John Feinberg and Paul Feinberg, “Ethics: For a Brave New World, 2nded.,” (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010), 632.
[5] Ronald Nash via Dr. Alan Branch (Lecture at MBTS, 2019)
[6] John Feinberg and Paul Feinberg, “Ethics: For a Brave New World, 2nded.,” (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010), 633.